Things I have tried:
1. reset of all equipment on both ends
2. Verification of the correct configurations on the routers
3. Checked the MTU settings on both routers 1492
4. Turned off themes and bitmap caching in remote desktop
5. changed the screen resolution to be 800x600 at 256 bit color on the laptop and in remotoe desktop and made the remote server match
6. turnned of the firewalls on the dell and disable norton 2006 on the laptop and all of its features. nothing.
7. DId the obligatory scans for spyware and viruses using hitman pro for spyware and running all of those tools in paid mode. Scaned for Viruses with AVG, Avast and Antivir
8. checked on MS technet they said I needed to upgrade to the newest version of terminal services. I did it did not help.
9. I changed the MTU on both sides to 1492 since that is the suggest from SBC for PPOE dsl connection prior it was 1500 in both locations
10. I installed tightvnc and they still cannot get home access for the computer it will connect, prompt for a password and freeze after 1/2 of the screen is loaded and die which is better than remote desktop that wont even load the screen
::EDIT:: I just tried putting the server in the dmz on the router still no good. I genuinely believe it has something to do with somehting one of the isp's has changed. Nothing new has been installed on the computers in ages other than windows updates.
I found this article and I have a almost the same problem but I cannot get his results
I just don't know what else to do I am working the search engines and not really finding much helpful
Any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated its killing me here
::EDIT:: the problem is solved amazingly enough. Thanks to all of you for you help. The problem was the MTU size on the home connection.
The Office connection was 1492 and that was the same as the setting on the home router. The issue actually was on the cable modem.
I Logged onto the modem and disabled the SPI firewall and changed the mtu size to 1473 on the modem and everything worked perfectly.
IF I turned the SPI firewall on the modem on it would not work. If I raised the mtu to 1474 I would have packets drop and at 1475 or higher it would not work.
So thank you all of you for all of your help and suggestions. You rock.
::EDIT 2:: the ICMP traffic both in and out was being limited by the modem. I still think that the traffic is being limited a point further down than the modem due to the discrepency in size
whenever i use this comand
ping -l 1500 -f <IP address>
and change the mtu size above its current setting from the home connection to any ip address I get this message
Packet needs to be fragmented but DF set.
and when I do a tracert with that large of a packet actually configured I get "request timed out"
Should I drop the office MTU down to match the home or leave it as is now?